I
Fall from here; my hands will touch you,
iridescent reach to catch
II
She feels starborn
every Sunday as homemade
tortillas
bend to her grace
Hungry?
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I am in love with number II. Totally delicious and memorable.
I agree, the second one is bliss. I really the form it took, Pamela. Well I think I could do this not haiku-thing.
smiles….love that second one…that the homemade food bends her to grace…sundays are def more home to me….
First, so so pleasant to hear your voice again Pamela.
I like your play to have a I and II poem here; another creative way to make 12 twice as big. That’s one. I took another route, with a title longer than the poem itself (kind of a jest or play against the “rule”, and also the way they long long ago titled books, even newspaper articles).
So, I’m curious – how do you feel the difference between the endings of each, I and II?
Nice writing. Thanks Pamela.
I like both, but the second is my favorite. I like this twelve word poem idea. It’s a lot like small stones. Getting back to your poems, even with only twelve words to work with, both of these pieces have your handprints all over them.
Elizabeth
I agree with the sentiments above… both are wonderful. The second poem somehow conveys mindfulness and joy in motion in a seemingly simple moment.
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Thanks all. I have no idea what I think about the endings, Neil.