“Scathing Sorceress” April 1, 2014

Concentration consumption,
owls bereave her breast,
in heartless year-long yardsticks
or a painted stick hung ever forward
merciless in subjection depressed.

She looks over the wall
she never sees,
what slivers in silence
dethroned in this lee.

Matriarchs dare where the wind stops to play
in a shelterless moray of trifled mêlée
as I stand by her subtly
unwanted, impure.

She sings of my future;
oblique and demure.

http://1sojournal.wordpress.com/2014/04/01/napowrimo-prompt-1-day-1/

http://imprompt.wordpress.com/2014/04/01/april-1/

I am also posting this @

http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/2014-april-pad-challenge-day-1

15 responses to ““Scathing Sorceress” April 1, 2014

  1. As usual, great visuals and flowing read. So glad you joined us, Pamela. There is a longing here, especially in the ending lines.

    Elizabeth

    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2014/04/01/the-sorcerer/

  2. That line “owls bereave her breast” is stunning…….and I love the closing couplet…….a beautiful write, my friend, Good for you, doing the April challenge……..

  3. I love this, Pamela! Your rhymes are interesting, and move the piece along. The final couplet is perfect. It will be nice to write with you through another NaPo, my friend. :)

  4. Really well-paced and well constructed, Pamela. Very striking and original imagery as well–the line Sherry quoted, and that very alliterative matriarch line also.

  5. Evocative, beautiful poem, Pamela, That first year is so hard–measured in heartbeats or inches. As you said on my blog, though your “muse” is lacking for NaPoWriMo, this year, I do believe he continues to inspire in some way, even through your lack. For me, the owl is such a powerful symbol.

  6. Hi Pam, enjoyed the closing lines “she sings of my future”

  7. She sings of my future;
    oblique and demure.

    One is lucky someone cares. He props up to return a favor but saying it as it is in all fairness. That’s how Hank reads this! Beautiful write Pamelita!

    Hank

  8. Evocative and beautiful.

  9. The rhyming in this gives it such a beautiful flow.

I appreciate all comments.

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