>laughter comes from … we write poems #5 Erasures (found poetry) taken from Pointed Roofs by Dorothy Miller Richardson


high, bright mirrors sweep many faces
scattered and collected misery
nervous thought of dreadful experiences
people running melody
swollen loud, louder movements
elbowed nothing
loud minims till the end
dizzily touch
angry red-hot mass of fire
and the bottle of green Chartreuse
warming people with trembling limbs and burning eyes
fumbled and slurred soundlessly until afresh
too miserable to be nervous
astonished and thrilled
the wall behind . . .

18 responses to “>laughter comes from … we write poems #5 Erasures (found poetry) taken from Pointed Roofs by Dorothy Miller Richardson

  1. >This works so well that I wonder if the words erased were truly needed ! Love this : fumbled and slurred soundlessly

  2. >Love it too, Pamela. Interesting focus on the bottle of Chartreuse and its effect. Well erased! ~Brenda

  3. >Yes, that green chartreuse is strong stuff, Pamela!

  4. >So much energy in this, Pamela! Great word choices!

  5. >You really distilled the text. It seemed very angry to me.

  6. >Linda Thanks and I enjoyed this prompt and this form of writing very much!Pamela

  7. >Thanks Brenda ;)!Pamela

  8. >Love chartreuse Derrick!Pamela

  9. >Thanks for stopping over Footprints!Pamela

  10. >Thanks Barb and it did turn out sounding a bit angry.Maybe it is a reflection of my sour mood lately ;)Honestly this is an interesting form of writing poetry though!Pamela

  11. >wow — I didn't get anger. I got earthquake or fire or some immediately-after-disaster reaction. thanks for playing, Pam!:)

  12. >AngieThis was a lot of fun!Thanks for a great prompt!I suppose it does sound like that!Pamela

  13. >It's interesting how we all used the same text yet we all definitely inserted our own flavor. This was absolutely a "Pamela poem"! I loved how you got you to shine through so well. Does that make sense?!- Dina

  14. >Thanks Dina that is a very nice thing to say!yes it does make sense to me but then who knows if that makes sense!;)Pamela

  15. >Woot! I love, "people running melody" Wow! This prompt fit you, Pamela. Wonderful the way you ended this, too. Thank you!

  16. >LindaThanks for such a nice comment!Pamela

  17. >I pictured a room full of people indulging in the company of the green fairy. Your final result was very descriptive and full of anger, misery, and drunk. Very well done.

  18. >Thanks Nicole!So you saw anger too! Oh no! ;)Pamela

I appreciate all comments.

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