>Life writer’s island #7 the gift

>

If something is given

Then something must be taken

Gesture of abhorrence is

The abuse that forms from within

Remember the day of feeling

Given to extent of capability

Reach the corridor of sensitivity

If something is given

Look deep within your shoes

Feel inside your gloves

Check your pockets carefully

Then something must be taken

A blind man on the street

Looks for sight from a tin cup

Cardboard boxes line the alley

Gesture of abhorrence is

Broken bones and bruised limbs

Crippled and invalid in your mind

Recalling that life is for living

The abuse that forms from within

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25 responses to “>Life writer’s island #7 the gift

  1. >Wow – you tucked form within your gift. BRAVO! Grewat work, dear Pamela! Read my Gift poem here.

  2. >Great structure – We should always be aware that what we give may take something away from the receiver.

  3. >JulieThanks and this is my first cascade poem. I have been reading a lot about form and decided to try something new. Pamela

  4. >StanThanks I do not use form. And this ended up being a fun exercise for me. So true we should be more aware. Pamela

  5. >I did enjoy the form of your poem, Pamela. I'm going to have to try a cascade poem too (ala Robert Brewer) just for something different than my usual. Your words "If something is given, then something must be taken" give me food for thought tonight.http://inthecornerofmyeye.blogspot.com/2010/06/gift.html

  6. >MaryThanks and this was an interesting way to write. It is food for thought.Pamela

  7. >This is powerful and very well structured.

  8. >I really liked the third stanza, which says to me that a person can always find something to give if he/she reaches! Interesting form.http://troublebeingstrong.blogspot.com/2010/06/let-me-speak.html

  9. >AnthonyThanks for the nice comment!Pamela

  10. >DianeIt is all about the give and take in life is it not? Thanks for stopping by!Pamela

  11. >You have made me remember that I have not written nearly enough poetry lately. You have given/I have taken. Thank you.Elizabeth

  12. >No problem Elizabeth! ThanksPamela

  13. >I haven't tried the four-line stanza cascade yet, Pamela — I like how you handled that form. Bravo! "Looks for sight from a tin cup" is an amazing way to think of a gift for a blind man.

  14. >Gracias Linda and this is an interesting form to write! Congrats again!Pamela

  15. >Thanks whitesnake!And thanks for stopping by!Pamela

  16. >Pamela, You are inspiring me. Now I want to try a cascade. This one tumbled down so well. Your poem is intense and interseting. You really have a unique take on this prompt. Well done!

  17. >Oh Brenda so good to see you! yes this an interesting way to write!And thanks so much!Pamela

  18. >Thank you for this: you've sent me off on a treasure hunt. I may be some time…ViV

  19. >VivThanks and happy hunting ;)Pamela

  20. >Nicely written! I enjoyed reading! -Weasel

  21. >I don't agree with the premise of your opening lines but I like the way you express it.http://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com

  22. >Weasel thanks for saying so!Pamela

  23. >Thanks Tillybud!Pamela

  24. >I like your take on giving – and taking. And now I have to try my hand at a cascade poem.

I appreciate all comments.

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