>a message to you from me big tent poetry #11 hidden code

>darkness comes I see you watching me

electricity

ecstasy on a metallic hinge

a messenger flies carrying coins

a rebel yearn if you don’t stop

I may explode nine times

at hamster speed we move about

in the cages of Tripoli

paper lines the parsley

in an unseen drawer

I don’t want to call you nasty names

a snag in the exterior lining of life

I teeter on the edge right now

velocity of all things stick

do you see me watching you?

we live in a fishbowl on a tabletop

comfort is earnest

while crabs feed at the bottom

as flies die on the carpet

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32 responses to “>a message to you from me big tent poetry #11 hidden code

  1. >Oh, Pamela, maybe I am not wide awake yet this morning; but the message is hidden from me. I will revisit later and see if it is more clear. This prompt was difficult for me, and I think I will be passing on it unless I get a sudden inspiration. Sigh.

  2. >Mary don't feel bad I am not sure I even knew what I was doing when I wrote this!But the message is a note to someone that I don't particularly care for, actually it is someone who I find quite annoying.Pamela

  3. >I didn't try to find the hidden code because I was so enjoying the imagery in this. And these lines: "I may explode nine times / at hamster speed we move about / in the cages of Tripoli" which I just loved.

  4. >Thanks James And thanks for commenting!Pamela

  5. >This is a fabulous poem with some excellent lineswith a couple of great song titles incorporatedby Pink Floyd and Bill WithersThe message is Piss Off Tuna Exterminators:)

  6. >Can't follow the connections, but I get the gist. You are one irked lady. (not wanting to call nasty names is a fine touch)love the hampster speed, and paper lining the parsley (instead of the drawer, because, of course: unseen, duh)

  7. >Rall first off thanks for the compliment and actually I hadn't realized that those were titles from Pink Floyd or Bill Withers for that matter.But I must say I am laughing my ass off at the Piss off Tuna Exterminators!(or is that my arse)?;)Pamela

  8. >BarbAt times I am indeed irked! Of course we have to line the parsley and not the drawer :)Thanks!

  9. >Everyone's already mentioned my favorite lines! I don't have any idea what the hidden message is but fortunately it doesn't matter.

  10. >twitches first off thanks and the message is a note to someone!Pamela

  11. >Nicely written! It's always hard to find ways to tell a person, you don't like very much, how you feel. I know the feeling. A great take on the prompt!-Weasel

  12. >So many individual lines stand out and your anger is at times palpable. Send it! 🙂 Well done, Pamela.

  13. >Weasel thanks for saying so! I have a hard time telling people sometimes how I feel about them but now having written this I feel much better!Pamela

  14. >Brenda can you find the exact lines I wrote? Just curious! Thanks for commenting!Pamela

  15. >I also write letters and notes to use up the access energy of anger or irritation. It helps in strange ways sometimes. But, it seldom turns out as smoothly as your poem (have a tendency to take short swift jabs and that makes for choppy work). Anyway, I like your piece and congratulate you on making it work for you.Elizabeth

  16. >Elizabeth thanks very much for that!Pamela

  17. >Can't make the connections, but love the poem.

  18. >Stan there is a small note inside the poem. I will post it later. Thanks for the comment!Pamela

  19. >Well, even with the benefit of all these comments, I'm still no nearer discovering your secret note Pamela! But you've got some great lines in there, especially 'hamster speed'!

  20. >"We live in a fishbowl on a tabletop" is a great line and so very true. Your message to that someone is tasteful yet direct. Bravo!

  21. >I get the drift, if not the exact message. 'a rebel yearn if you don’t stop/I may explode nine times' surely reveals a sense of outrage! Fun read, for sure.

  22. >Zouxzoux thanks and yes that is so true!Pamela

  23. >Susan thanks and yes that is it!Pamela

  24. >I think I am too dense this morning to find your meaning, but no matter…the words themselves are wonderful, and sometimes obscurity makes things more interesting!

  25. >Cynthia you are not the dense one it is me! i obviously am not very good at setting up codes inside of a body of text ugh! But thanks for the compliment.Pamela

  26. >Pamela, oh, so many great lines here! I especially love … "ecstasy on a metallic hinge" and… "a snag in the exterior lining of life"…wow. And "I may explode nine times" does indeed get across outrage! May I please borrow it the next time I'm pissed? 😉

  27. >Robin you certainly may with my blessings ha!Thanks so much for the nice comments!Pamela

  28. >I think the mystery of the meaning actually enhances the very strong imagery here.

  29. >Francis thanks and I certainly flubbed the form a bit oops!Pamela

  30. >The form is (only!!!) a jumping off point & it served you well. Inventive language & ideas!

  31. >Thanks Deb I am sort of dense when it comes to puzzles! :)Pamela

I appreciate all comments.

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