>red crevasse big tent poetry #32-referential magazine, borrow an idea

>Suspended upside down
in the crevice of a red mountain
Seatbelts locked in place
Air bags – imploded
Ribs left bruised and fractured
Engine is still idling
petrol is boiling – boiling in my brain
Escape is never easy – windows won’t work
Brakes gave way
Down the side you went trying to cling on to something – traction
60 metres – upside-down
Damn windows don’t work
Neither do the brakes
Nothing is functioning right now
A reality becomes unreal
Somewhere in a desert mountain

process notes:
I read the poem and it reminded of an event
Unreality by Elizabeth Langemak

22 responses to “>red crevasse big tent poetry #32-referential magazine, borrow an idea

  1. >You have painted the event – unspecified – in such language that no notes are needed. Brilliant.

  2. >Pamela – What Viv said!That very first line "suspended upside down / in the crevice of a red mountain" so fine. Pulls us right in.

  3. >Thanks Viv and I won't supply any notes either.Best left to the imagination.Pamela

  4. >Robin,Thanks I appreciate that.Pamela

  5. >Wow. Intense. Scared. Feeling the scared. Feeling the disbelief. Wow. Lost. for. Words.

  6. >The first line brings my heart to throat and holds it there til the end. Vivid, unsettling and outright frightening. Well done!

  7. >well doneI was hoping it was one of those insane amusement park events.

  8. >Julie yes it was.Pamela

  9. >Susan terrifying would be appropriate and quite unsettling. Thanks.Pamela

  10. >Barb ever since I have an innate fear of heights.Not something I experienced growing up. I used to love roller coasters and that sort of thing. Now I won't go fast in a car. Thanks.Pamela

  11. >I feel your fear… that must have been horrible for you.

  12. >fear…who is afraid of fear? ha ha…..anyways nice one Pam…thanks for the read

  13. >Laurie it was absolutely no fun.Pamela

  14. >Wayne now I have a terrible fear of heights and people who drive fast. Yikes!Cheers to youPamela

  15. >It was Marian.Pamela

  16. >Frightening ride, well written. I'd suggest "Red Crevasse" for a title, or something like that. 🙂

  17. >Deb thanks for the suggestion and I thought about using the word crevasse. I am not very good with titles :(Pamela

  18. >I like your use of dashes here. Really adds to the tension. Nice work.

  19. >Thanks Kelly.Pamela

  20. >woo – frightening! Great poem.

  21. >thank ya nan:)Pamela

I appreciate all comments.

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