>"tak and nie" big tent poetry #35-a poem with a foot or feet in it

>If you lay out the meters
side by side
so we may have feet
I think the moon has died …
Obscurity outlines me
centimeters become meters – the lost moon
Persistence of sounds echo
Never to cast a silhouette
As an overcast sky hides my shadow

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34 responses to “>"tak and nie" big tent poetry #35-a poem with a foot or feet in it

  1. >Pamela, obscure is the word! I don;t understand the title!

  2. >Hey my feet led me to the moon also. I like the way feet can be read several ways in the 3rd line. There's a sense of creation there. Nice.

  3. >Good one…I especially like "persistence of sounds echo"

  4. >Viv, yes obscure is correct. I had a difficult time with this prompt. Not an easy subject to write about. The title is Polish for yes and no.Pamela

  5. >Thanks much James.Pamela

  6. >Thanks Laurie. Pamela

  7. >Really like those final three lines. May have been a bit hard to get there, but well worth the journey, Pamela. Elizabeth

  8. >Beautiful! Beautiful! Thank you so much for such magical words!

  9. >Interesting – it went somewhere I didn't expect. I like how the feet lead to the moon, but the moon is "lost." Sad.

  10. >Elizabeth that is a huge compliment. I was daunted by this prompt. Maybe trying to hard and finally I just let the words flow.Pamela

  11. >Annell thanks and yours was an enjoyable read as well.Pamela

  12. >I hate when I lose track of the moon:)Thanks for the visit.Pamela

  13. >I like obscurity outlining the narrator of the poem.it's like an existential statement of our world where too often people exist isolatedfrom one another.

  14. >Linda, that is very true. As close as we feel to another human, there is essentially a detachment that exists.Pamela

  15. >I love the image that we need to lay out the meters to have feet – first it seems nonsensical, but then "have feet" could have two readings. It could refer to movement.

  16. >Thanks for the lesson in Polish! I would never know by your writing this was a tough subject it has such a whimsical feeling I loved it!

  17. >Donna,like Viv said I think this poem is obscure. But part of that comes from me trying to force the prompt. I am fairly satisfied with the outcome.Pamela

  18. >Amanda, yeah and I am not Polish. I have been watching "Shoah" for a second time and it is leaving quite an impression on me (again). Watching it later in my life has led me to take a much deeper look at the whole situation. The Polish were very cold and the language is very abrupt. Thanks for the nice comment.Pamela

  19. >Pamela, I found the subject an 'easy' one, but I wrote about it so many times this past month that I didn't know if I would find anything else to say. I don't think obscurity outlines you at all, by the way..and I hope the moon NEVER dies. Well written poem!

  20. >Mary, I know where you are coming from. But I was trying to get too literal with it. I approach life pretty much with one foot in front of the other, but I can't say I have always been that way. I also hope the moon never dies.Thanks for being here,Pamela

  21. >I think the bit about the moon seem to hold the sense. Whimsical write.

  22. >I think this is one of those poems you get (at least in part) before you understand it, which means it's very good.

  23. >Melancholy take on shadows and shadowing. . .

  24. >Irene, I am glad you think so:)Pamela

  25. >nan, thanks for the comment.Pamela

  26. >Elizabeth, that is a really nice thing to say.Pamela

  27. >Gautami, I am happy for that:)Pamela

  28. >I like the easy flow between solid and ephemeral, between the real and surreal – nice piece.

  29. >Susan, I really appreciate that.Pamela

  30. >Pamela, this has a dream-like quality, clear as an outline and yet hidden. I love the tension that creates.

  31. >Robin, I liked how you used "hands" in your poem.Pamela

  32. >To go or not to go, metric or moon, walking hither and thither, yes and no! Reminds me of a nursery rhyme. Lovely.

  33. >Thanks Brenda.This prompt made me of the nursery rhyme"What is the ugliest part of your body?"Though certainly did not go in that direction.

I appreciate all comments.

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