>"hidden meanings" we write poems #36-revision

>Anamorphosis perspective appears oblique                
A catoptric view, sideways distorted
Sardonic paintings shown for critique

Where one relevant object pleads mystique,
has changed its intention to be averted
Anamorphosis perspective appears oblique

Flowers with ardent eyes: technique
Cunning and fiery, I cannot be comforted
Sardonic paintings shown for critique

A mirror’s reflected aiming: unique
That ignites our innermost disconcerted
Anamorphosis perspective appears oblique

Anamorphosis perspective appears oblique
Sardonic paintings shown for critique
.
process notes:
For explanation of Anamorphosis:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anamorphosis

I changed the form from free style to
a villanelle. Sonnets are NOT a strong
avenue that I pursue with comfort.
That being said, I did revise it and
I think changed the message from
the original. I am still not satisfied
with either. Please feel free to tell
me where I went wrong with this.
The original can be found here:
http://flaubert-poetrywithme.blogspot.com/2011/01/anamorphosis-changes-road-monday-poetry.html

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2 responses to “>"hidden meanings" we write poems #36-revision

  1. >Amy said:Wow, Pamela, when you send me to the Wik-tionary, you know it's worth reading! I was not familiar with anamorphosis perspective until I looked it up, plus the "catoptic" reference threw me at first. I believe if you were writing a chapbook geared at artist (as in painters, photographers, visual media), this would be an excellent fit.I also admire your ability to write a villanelle, one of many forms which have not found voice within me. Perhaps if I revisit other free-verse poems, I might find some forms lurking there. Wasn't this an excellent prompt? Great job! Peace, Amy (Sharp Little Pencil) http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/01/13/one-for-we-write-poems/

  2. >Thank you Amy, I really appreciate the comment.The villanelle is not an easy form for me.Pamela

I appreciate all comments.

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