“Below the Surface” We Write Poems #59-Write here, now

An ink-smudged journal;
scraps of paper torn into pieces,
containing thoughts,
not real ideas
Revise, rewrite, edit,
turn words inside out,
puzzle pieces lying there
yet nothing fits together

While a parrot peers
over your shoulder
no words come
With a hook,
coax them out

Simple is the surface
that complexity hides well

hit the pavement
as colibris flutter round
Words, music, laughter …
I reach to pick them up


43 responses to ““Below the Surface” We Write Poems #59-Write here, now

  1. Love the ending of this and I am especially drawn to the lines: Words
    hit the pavement

  2. Excellente, Pamela! What I’d give for an upside down exclamation point…there’s probably one swirling around out there with those words. Do you live with a parrot?

    • Thanks, Brenda. Even though, this is my prompt idea, I struggled with it a bit. I wanted to keep it simple. Yes, we have a green and peach Loro. He has been with us for 6 years, his name is Chochu. I have no idea what that means. Michael’s student named him. He sits right by me in the room where I write.

  3. I like the image you have scripted in you verse. I find when writing this has happened to me many times. My trouble comes when “I reach to pick them up.”
    Mi amiga, salud, amor, dinero, poeta, y tiempo para hacerlo.

  4. I like the idea of what’s below the surface and the last two lines hit the right note. Thanks for the prompt Pamela.

  5. I love so much of this, Pamela. You describe my process in describing yours and I love the details you use, I also want to know about the parrot 🙂 Thank you for the prompt!


  6. Margo, thanks. The process of my writing can be a bit scattered at times. Our parrot is a Loro. He is a cute little fellow. He does a lot of singing, but doesn’t speak. Though the vet told us some time ago, he is capable of speaking. Glad you liked the prompt.

  7. There seem to be a lot of birds fluttering around the prompts this week… 😉

    That idea of coaxing out words with a hook, fishing for them in the pond of language: awesome.

    • Joseph, I noticed that also, might be the summer and sun shining. Here we have had almost 2 1/2 days of grey skies and steady rain. Though, this afternoon the sun has stuck its beautiful face out for now. Thanks for stopping by my new blog.

  8. Pamela…yes it does feel like that sometimes. The great thing about those lines are that it works in a few ways…like when the words seems to be in your hands and they dissipate…or like when they’ve got so much energy they hit the ground and go running off with a life of their own. I just really like those lines.

  9. You found the words with a hook here. They grabbed me in and held me. Well done.

  10. I enjoyed this prompt! Thank you! This was a great poem on process, but I’ll say having read your poetry for the past year — I would never imagine that you have many days of writing where things aren’t fitting together! Love the last stanza. Could’ve fooled me!

  11. That is very nice of you, nan, but there are many times, that I become befuddled with what I am trying to say. I am quite happy to see you over at we write. You should join us weekly.

  12. You’ve so beautifully captured the frustrations of creative writing.

  13. I like how this poem advances into the real and physical. Even though it does begin that way, the feeling, the emotion is even stronger at the end. Very nice. Jigsaw puzzles, gathered, then held more by desire than anything more reasonable. Very nice. A lovely poem Pamela.

    And thank you, thank you for this prompt. It has turned many a good result!

  14. Sometimes , just sometimes
    I peek under the surface.
    But I stop scratching when the dark figures
    Show up with warted skins and swollen eyes.

    And then with the help of rhymes
    I kick up quite a ruckus
    Hoping that the ghosts who linger
    My words will exorcise.

    Writing…so many different processes, so many different stages and what a lot of different intentions and inspirations. But this sharing is so delightful. It’s like unintentionally we all get connected in our common fears, regrets, hopes and joys. Glad to have come across this page.:-)

  15. Pamela, you have given me an idea. Grab one of my journal notebooks and cut out words and phrases, then see if I can connect them up to make more sense than what I’ve got already. I know you were creating a metaphor, but I saw myself doing that and finding puzzle poems. I really like that. Thank you,


  16. good one Pam…..hope you listen to your parrot

  17. Pamela, I like the specificity of the beginning, that struggle with words, and then how at the end you are reaching out to pick up the intangibles: “words, music, laughter…” I thought it a very apt ending to how you began your description of your day.


  18. Beautiful imagery to describe a process that often is just a matter of
    picking them up! Nicely done.

  19. Beautiful. Sometimes the words are all jumbled yet, they seem to fit perfectly the thoughts we wish to convey. This prose fits with jumbled thoughts, with clarity. Thanks for visiting me. Going to go look at some of your art now 🙂
    Have a lovely day there.

  20. It seems you have many skills! Lovely scultures.

  21. hard work, flashes of inspiration, a good word bank, the poet’s imagination and the ability to filter experience: the tools of our trade. I enjoyed your poem.

  22. You write of scrapes of paper, notes, I dream one day my journal will be nice and neat….

  23. Those are my hopes as well, Annell. I have pieces of paper stashed everywhere.

  24. I love this piece, Pamela. Really addresses the writing process, I think. As for me, the only ‘scraps’ for me are generally on the computer. LOL.

  25. Mary, periodically I go through my scraps of paper, log some ideas and toss others. Thanks for the nice comment.

I appreciate all comments.

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