“Twilight Obscure” The Sunday Whirl #42

Staccato roofs carve perfect scars;
laid on dubious angles, moss drips metallic
edges in storm

Contoured billows rise, startling backyards,
sky’s acceptance fuses exile

Petulant trees embrace coil’s rebellion,
slithering away from these open ruins,
jet-black latches dart chiseled wildflowers

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33 responses to ““Twilight Obscure” The Sunday Whirl #42

  1. Beautiful writing as always, Pamela! So many amazing images. “Moss drips metallic edges in storm” is gorgeous. I also love “jet-black latches dart chiseled wildflowers.”

    • Marianne, on the way to work the other evening we had a strong hail storm, which covered the side roads with a thick blanket of white. It looked like snow, it was beautiful. That is where this came from. Thanks.

  2. Pamela- You never cease to amaze me with your creative and effective use of the wordle words. I love every single bit of this poem.

    http://lkharris-kolp.blogspot.com/2012/02/prowler.html

  3. It’s a word picture. Wonderful imagery.

  4. Lush images, Pamela. I love how the coils slither away. You evoke the image/feel of serpent/snake without using the words serpent or snake. That’s what I tell my students that good writers do.

  5. You had me from that first perfect line:
    staccato roofs carve perfect scars;
    Excellent poem!

  6. Delicious.
    The whole “perfect scars” line, especially.
    (way to go, turning the wordle on end!)

  7. Beautiful painting with words. I too really like the slithering, and coils without the need of using a snake to explain it.
    Fabulous use of the prompt words.

  8. Yes, I like it very much!

  9. My favorite line is “moss drips metallic/ edges in storm “. That’s the most lovely way of describing the glint of rain with the hint of a threat in it.

  10. Stunning, Pamela. You are so good with metaphors and so often find the best fit for wordle words. I just have to tell you….I wasn’t going to do the wordle today (excusing myself because of my new little puppy), but YOU made me do it. LOL. And I am glad you did. Pamela, you are a true friend; and this is what I came up with:
    http://inthecornerofmyeye.blogspot.com/2012/02/wordle-42.html

  11. I’ve been to your site, Mary. Read your poem and left a comment. I agree about “petulant people” 100%. Good to see you. Yes, I am your friend and don’t you forget it 🙂

  12. Incredible images. That’s what I love best in poems, images and passion.

  13. You are so sweet, Cathy. 🙂

  14. Pamela, I like the opening – the “perfect scars” and “dubious angles” of the building. Great imagery.

    Richard

  15. Thanks Richard. I favour the beginning of the poem myself.

  16. A wonderful city scene – at least for me. While I think I may have turned into a country mouse… I’m still in a city, but much smaller than NYC. But I can also see this as a small village with unique architecture – roofs and sky, and the mysterious atmosphere…that unseen snake!
    ~Jules

  17. “dubious angles”…a perfect use of that word!

  18. Thanks Paula. I am always surprised where the words take people.

  19. Such wonderful ines here Pamela,

    my favourites…

    “Staccato roofs carve perfect scars;”
    and
    “Contoured billows rise, startling backyards,”

  20. Your ride through the hail storm created the perfect storm for your wordle. I’ll bet if each of us had to draw a picture of your writing- each drawing would be different.

I appreciate all comments.

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