I Was Never a Good Customer, But Neither Were You The Sunday Whirl #43

Fog surrounds me,
a blur of your indistinct
charms, appearing
like a ransacked drawer,
full of bizarre notions

I am content to place
stickers on a mirror, a
reminder to wash the dirt
away tomorrow, so I can
belt up my chagrin

But I must keep it
confidential, like
interviews conducted in
darkness, where you can’t
see each other’s eyes

I lift wet clothes
from the washer,
weeping in my hands,
trading comfort,
hanging up innuendo

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29 responses to “I Was Never a Good Customer, But Neither Were You The Sunday Whirl #43

  1. Very nice, Pamela. I love the ending:

    ‘trading comfort,
    hanging up innuendo.’

    You wove the words together well!

  2. Pamela, this is so well-crafted. I love the play of “full of bizarre notions” and “so I can / belt up my chagrin”. I especially like how you used “belt” as a verb instead of a noun. And… great title.

    Richard

  3. There are times when I, too, wish I could “belt up chagrin.” Alas, it rarely happens!

    Your poem is packed with vivid images. I treasure each one. Thank you.

    Whirling Haiku and Senryu

  4. Pamela- Love this… indistinct charms, ransacked drawer, bizarre notions… what a perfect description of ‘fogetfulness’.

    http://lkkolp.wordpress.com/2012/02/11/this-artificial-high-we-seek/

  5. love the last stanza best, powerful words.
    well done!

  6. “trading comfort – hanging up innuendo” WOW!

  7. Wow… what a fabulous write using all of the words. It’s so full of raw emotion but, filled with a musical flow too.
    Really, lovely, ‘Hanging up innuendo’. Great imagery.

  8. Spectacular use of the words, Pamela! Every stanza is brilliant. I love: “ransacked drawer, full of bizarre notions” and “belt up my chagrin” and “confidential, like interviews conducted in darkness, where you can’t see each other’s eyes” and the last stanza is absolutely magnificent. I could not manage to fit the words together at all and you have written this masterpiece!

  9. I agree with all the comments, Pamela. The last stanza is extraordinary. This is powerful writing. My favorite bit is
    “interviews conducted in the / darkness, where you can’t / see each other’s eyes.” LOVE this.

  10. Well done! It seems these words have formed the perfect piece!

  11. But I must keep it
    confidential, like
    interviews conducted in
    darkness, where you can’t
    see each other’s eyes

    LOVE it!

  12. The piece flows with innuendo. Nicely done Pamela.

  13. Oh, the innuendo of life, Irene. Thanks.

  14. Ouch! such tension and hurt.

  15. Pam,
    Brilliant wordcraft! I can expect that from you!

    Hank

  16. I love that first stanza — the double meanings. Brilliant!

    ~ Paula

  17. Some lovely phrasing in this one, Pamela; especially the last two lines.

I appreciate all comments.

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