“I Can’t See Miami” The Sunday Whirl #48

She’s sitting in an oblong chair, mirror
held in hand inherent, reflecting opposite me

My doppelgänger gestures ethereal,
singing on hallway walls,

delivering sickening sweetness; she
follows my eyes on crooked bends, shaded

drama, angry, parched limbs —
mine are swollen, unmoving, hardened

I study her hair-driven porcelain cheek,
chiseled in auburn cascade

As secrets carry, forgiving night’s limits,
our heads rest in between

soft feathers and sources aware of previous
daylight’s wonder

She’s decided to visit me tonight,
a recalling pacific grainy coast,
reflecting under the stars

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33 responses to ““I Can’t See Miami” The Sunday Whirl #48

  1. I like the ending a lot, and the whole idea of it. I couldn’t see Miami in the poem though.

  2. That is a pretty eerie doppleganger! And I can just imagine the sickening sweetness. I’m with Irene in regard to Miami as well.

  3. The doppleganger angle is brilliant, and made for a fascinating write, Pamela. I love the line “singing on hallway walls.” The piece has a haunting feel to it.

  4. I like the beginning, it is so strong, with the mirror and “reflecting” and the doppelganger. I like “singing on hallway walls”. Such great imagery.

    Richard

  5. Ah, Pamela, this is one of my favorites of yours. I love ‘doppelgänger gestures ethereal’ and ‘hair-driven porcelain cheek,
    chiseled in auburn cascade’…

  6. Haunting…Doppelgangers – I must have more than one. I’ve read this a few times and I think the doppelganger could be the mirror reflection? As for Miami – I think of it as the place the character is longing to be, free in Miami instead of on the distant shore so far away…

  7. It is a possibility, Jules, but I know Miami quite well and it isn’t better than living here. Thanks for the nice comment.

  8. This is gorgeous! I especially love:

    singing on hallway walls,
    delivering sickening sweetness

  9. Love your writing here but, personally, I take the aisle seat. 🙂

  10. Thanks for fulfilling the “you learn something everyday” quota. Once I knew what a dopppleganger was this piece was smooth sailing. I found it creepy and just a bit whimsical. And as for the title, I love it! (Don’t you know you cannot see Miami when a doppleganger is in the room.) To me it adds a bit of levity and adds to the arbitrariness of having such an exchange at all.

  11. ‘She’s decided to visit me tonight,
    a recalling pacific grainy coast,
    reflecting under the stars’

    This creates impressions of the mysterious Miami. The sea lapping the shores on Miami beach ( pacific must mean ‘peaceful’ as Miami is more an Atlantic happening!) Just guessing, Pam!

    Hank

  12. actually i think the title is brilliant…your doppleganger in its sickening sweetness a characiture of you…and in some sense a fear that maybe they are a better you…

  13. Ah, but can you see Russia?

    “hair-driven” is flat-out inspired.

  14. Heck, the discussion is as much fun as the poem, Pamela!

  15. Margo, I have never had such response to a bad title in my life. 😉

  16. I liked the lines:

    As secrets carry, forgiving night’s limits,
    our heads rest in between

    soft feathers and sources aware of previous
    daylight’s wonder

    and honestly…forgot I was reading a wordle! 🙂

  17. very cool and enigmatic … and I love the title – it draws the reader in and isn’t that partly what poetry’s all about?

    http://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.ca/2012/03/down-hallways-of-motherhood.html

  18. I like the imagery and the feel this story has. It’s funny and creepy at the same time.

  19. Love the poem and the title, Pamela! Writing about your doppelganger made for fascinating reading. Laurie Kolp said this piece is one of her favorites – and I agree!

I appreciate all comments.

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