Cinderella Stories That Fail … Napowrimo Day # 4

Chthonic happy endings,
a gown and glass slippers,
seams split, glass shattered,
a splintered girl,
gleaned pristine into fairytale translucence,
peering at her
lacey gaps stitched together,
ruffles of beautiful configurations,
landscapes prevailing her loveliness lost

A barricaded view,
she throws freedom skyward,
caught by storm-raged windowpanes
on watered-down whiskey-tinged nights

process notes: None of the prompts spoke to me, while I was searching through them last night. So, I decided to change things up a bit by turning the NaPoWriMo “bride” prompt on its ear. This is an old poem of mine revisited and revamped. I think I like this one better. You tell me… Here is the link to the old one.

“Fairy Tales”

Chthonic: 1. Dwelling in or under the earth. 2. Related to the underworld of ancient gods and spirits who tend to be evil.

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12 responses to “Cinderella Stories That Fail … Napowrimo Day # 4

  1. Seems in real life there is much glass shattering as there are glass slippers. I like this version, Pamela.

  2. Yes, Mary, you are right about that, and thanks.

    Pamela

  3. I love the way you changed the poem, Pamela! It’s tighter now, with more layers of meaning. “Ruffles of beautiful configurations” is wonderful.

  4. Thanks Marianne, I’ve never cared much for the original, so, when I revised it, I felt better about it. I may do this exercise throughout the month, because there is much I’ve written that could use a makeover.

  5. Pam,
    Chthonic, a nice sounding word, awkward to pronounce. The evils that pursued Cinderella came to life in your verse more than just from that of the step mother and sisters. She had to put up with a lot more here! Beautiful verse, and I like this version better!

    Hank

  6. Nicely written, Pamela. Sometimes a Fairy Tale is easier to deal with.

  7. ah mary nailed this…yeah the shattered glass is sadly how too many end up these days…nice new word for me too…

  8. Great revamping … multitude of layers fitting any time period and person. Thank you for sharing both of them!!

  9. Lovely and sad, Pamela. I love the fairy tale thread running through the piece. Clever and well executed.

  10. Nicely done!!! Enjoyed this one. Thanks.

I appreciate all comments.

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