Reaching into the Fruit Basket The Sunday Whirl #59

She holds the peach cautiously,
its bruised side facing down,
slowly piercing a velvet exterior,
a culinary edge pointing toward morning’s glow,
sneaking in on southern glances

Her carving draws sweet droplets,
bursting, splattering the tablecloth,
like petite tears worn on split sleeves

Evenings felt as if they’d crumple
beneath a crouched moon,
coveting chiseled stars

Her linguistic pulse beats intermittent
and shallow, incessantly, about to crash

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41 responses to “Reaching into the Fruit Basket The Sunday Whirl #59

  1. This has such an underlying sadness. I loved the description of the velvet skin of the peach.
    I used to love peaches until one day I bit into one and it had a live maggot inside it. ….Never eaten one since…Shudders LOL

  2. I especially LOVE the second last stanza, Pamela!. “Crouched moon.” “Chiseled stars.”

  3. Gorgeous writing, Pamela! I love: “petite tears worn on split sleeves” and the entire third stanza is spectacular: “Evenings felt as if they’d crumple
    beneath a crouched moon, coveting chiseled stars.” Oh my! crouched moon and chiseled stars – OH, MY!

    Hope your week was better 🙂

    • It was considerably better, but not perfect by any means, Marianne. My fourth graders are little devils. One of the students said “I am crazy, Pam”. To which I said, “No, you are all perfect in this class”. They are not going to trick me anymore. I am after all the the adult, and somewhat smarter. 🙂 Thanks.

  4. So vivid and lovely, Pamela… especially:

    Evenings felt as if they’d crumple
    beneath a crouched moon,
    coveting chiseled stars

  5. You have effectively created a melancholy suspense with the contrast of the peach imagery at the beginning and the ending… about to crash.

  6. I love the final two stanzas. This is a beautiful write, Pamela.

    • Brenda, thanks to you and the whirl or this would never have come to pass. I was talking to a friend Friday about making Sangria or as it is called here, Vino Primavera. So, this is what happened.

  7. Okay, okay. I like the same phrases as the majority. It’s such a clear image. The description of the peach as well. I have peaches every summer at mom’s. Nothing quite like eating a peach.

    I discovered why you can’t see my password: it’s given in the post. Yes, laugh!

  8. I can see this as a day at the shore…the table cloth spread on the sand under an umbrella in paradise…a honeymooning couple supping the day wanting it to last,not crash or come to an end – hoping slowed heart rates slow time. I see this as very romantic. So many wonderful descriptive lines.
    My wordle can be found here:
    http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/06/whirl-59-freed-spirit.html

  9. This line is fantastic:
    “like petite tears worn on split sleeves”
    Also:
    “crumple
    beneath a crouched moon,
    coveting chiseled stars”

    You have carved a masterpiece from these words. Wonderful.

  10. Following immediately.

  11. I am flattered and will reciprocate. 🙂

  12. This is quite a different take from anything else I’ve read yet and I like it for that alone but it’s also very nice … and your imagery is rich and vivid – I esp like how you set the scene with her starting off holding the peach cautiously (almost like it might go off like a grenade or something, at least that’s how it struck me …)

    http://leapinelephants.blogspot.ca/2012/06/deep-tissue-bruising.html

  13. Such unspoken tension in this poem. The woman wanting to say something, but not knowing how to proceed, not knowing if her words will even be heard – a striking poem, Pamela.

  14. Wonderful drawing of the details to tell the emotion, Pamela.

  15. Hi Irene, she is clear in my mind. Thanks.

  16. Ah, I wasn’t the only one to have a crouched moon. 😉

    Lovely, Pamela!

  17. I don’t visit near enough but should certainly visit more as it is ‘candy for the eyes’. Please do visit my site at http://reneejustturtleflight.com/2012/06/04/appreciation-for-award/ A small way to thank you.

  18. Pamela, once again you have taken the words to a place that has me nodding my head in fascinated accord. Love the visuals and sense imagery, and like everyone else, that third stanza is absolutely outstanding.

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2012/06/03/souls-music-ii/

  19. very good. love the ‘linguistic pulse’

  20. She seems a bit reluctant, yet the underlying tension leaks through…like peach juice…”Her linguistic pulse beats intermittent
    and shallow, incessantly, about to crash”

    And do watch out for creepy crawlies in any fruit you eat… I have a similar story with plums

  21. love the carving of the peach…maybe i just want a peach but that was vivid for me…smiles….nice turn right after that as well…there is a nice tension in the second two stanzas

  22. You always have at least one killer line, Pamela, and often more. I love the delicacy of this one:

    petite tears worn on split sleeves

  23. Evenings felt as if they’d crumple
    beneath a crouched moon,
    coveting chiseled stars

    How very apt. The description is perfect ‘as though the moon is bent over’,heavily and admiring ‘the twinkling stars’ being worked on! Beautiful write, Pam!

    Hank

  24. Pamela, very intriguing ending. I’m very curious about that “linguistic pulse” – what she’s going to say – following on the very specific actions with the peach – and the contemplation on evening, moon, and stars. I sense that there’s a great deal more here.

    Comment on a comment: I love “Vino Primavera” – that is so poetic, so much better than sangria.

    Richard

  25. Evenings felt as if they’d crumple
    beneath a crouched moon,
    coveting chiseled stars

    Love this portion, Pamela!!

  26. I’m still reeling from “crouched moon coveting chiseled stars” Lovely.

  27. A cornucopia of exquisite phrases!

I appreciate all comments.

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