“Sliding Repentance” The Sunday Whirl #68

My tongue-port wanders feminine, masculine,
navigates moon to sun

Night-marrow anchors me deep here within,
linking torn whispers in silver-lined boxes,
seeking my stars,
stored here in restful embrace with earth’s cover,
imbibing my dreams or the laugh of a lover

Scorned by this fluster of supple awakening,
flourished in meadows of tremulous silk,
charred against truthfulness, sinking confession,
once strode in confidence, never imbued.
Leaving unsilenced, bedecked without fashion,
mirrors struggled vainly reflecting our grasp

Often at sunset I railed at this memory,
spoke retribution so stern in this moment
of low-pitched observance, dangling on twilight,
bereft and exposed. I no longer wander alone
or with you or navigate softly from sun to moon

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26 responses to ““Sliding Repentance” The Sunday Whirl #68

  1. This is beautiful:
    Night-marrow anchors me deep here within,
    linking torn whispers in silver-lined boxes,
    seeking my stars,
    The last stanza ends sadly though.
    Lovely write Pamela.

  2. All so beautiful and just a little sad…from moon to sun and back again.

  3. Cool title! You always have the best titles! Gorgeous images in this poem: “Night-marrow anchors me deep” and “torn whispers” and “fluster of supple awakening” and “meadows of tremulous silk.” All brilliant! You inspire me, Pamela!

  4. Marianne, your kind words are much appreciated. I found these words quite hard to maneuver.

  5. Nice things you’ve done with sound in this one. Plus: you totally did in the wordle. Poof! it disappears.

  6. really great word choice to set the tone in this…i come off feeling a bit sad…but i reallylike your descriptive pairings like…night marrow…

  7. I loved the line: dangling on twilight,/ bereft and exposed.

  8. Hard to maneuver, but handled exquisitely. You have put together some great pairings, Pamela. Well done!

  9. I’m so glad you struggled and finished it. Such beautiful writing Pamela. I echo everyone who came before me, the phrasing here is brilliant and shines softly somewhere between the moon and the sun.

    Elizabeth

    • Elizabeth, I started out wanting to write about the language differences between English and Spanish. The moon being luna, and the sun being sol, which makes them feminine and masculine, respectively. However, it seems the words had something else in mind.

  10. Beautiful. Haunting. Magical. Love it, Pamela!

  11. I really like the opening:

    “My tongue-port wanders feminine, masculine,
    navigates moon to sun

    Night-marrow anchors me deep here within,
    linking torn whispers in silver-lined boxes,
    seeking my stars,”

  12. I thought about death in the ending even if you never said it. You write soft and beguiling lines, Pamela.

  13. Thanks Irene. Not sure why that came about. I always find the words to be a journey.

  14. We all come from different points. I really enjoy your descriptions. I thought of strength, especially with the last stanza. Almost as if recovering from a lost love either by choice or (possibly) unexpected death, and yet having the strength to move forward. I am very glad you posted. Thank you.

    I’m here:
    http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/08/sw-wordle-68-staying-afloat.html

  15. pam, your poem is sublime. goes beyond romance to myth…
    a surreal dream of wonderment. lovely writing.

  16. “linking torn whispers in silver lined boxes” is my favorite, but really, Pamela….this is lovely in its entirety. Sadness echoes, and on we go…

  17. Pamelita, you took an obviously seaside Wordle and went all tragic romantic on me. This was really something – the sadness of lost love, and I didn’t even think on the wordle as I read. Hope you find mine fun, at least, and it’s not nautical either! Peace, Amelita
    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/08/10/birdcage-liner-of-the-tv-screen-sun-whirl/

I appreciate all comments.

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