“Lashes and Furrows in the Brow” The Sunday Whirl #75

Crickets click cords before the storm
between searing bolts
and shaken thunder; I listen to their
music

La Doña walks by, exuding a friendly
husk of life, her donkey burdens alfalfa bundles

The air is damp, climbing
from the nearby lake; I remain
transfixed in this land of fallen ash

The devil and the emperor bring
me tokens each day, a reflection of
youth trapped in age … and crows’
clawed feet gift the corners of my eyes.

Process notes: La Doña is a term of respect for a woman.

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32 responses to ““Lashes and Furrows in the Brow” The Sunday Whirl #75

  1. love the sound of crickets…and the allit in the opeening def accentuates that…the land of fallen ash…the reflection of youth trapped in age…great touches pamela…

  2. I like this Pamela. I can feel the dampness before the storm and hear those clicking crickets!

  3. I’m always impressed by your titles; they’re as outstanding as your poetry! And I love your opening stanza and clever alliteration:
    “Crickets click cords before the storm
    between searing bolts
    and shaken thunder; I listen to their
    music”
    Really beautiful!

    PS – No poem from me this week.

  4. Somehow, you’ve made crows feet intriguing. LoL Next time I look in the mirror your words will echo. I love the crickets, too.

  5. You set such a rich scene, even more so because it is taken from the ordinary. Your words the magic that give them life. Love what you do, lady,

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2012/09/23/darkening-echo/

    PS Even like the crow’s feet, lol.

  6. I never thought of Mexico as being a land of volcanoes but yes, it is and that one you mentioned is being very active lately. I do hope it doesn’t produce more than a hiccup. Loved the imagery in this again Pamela. Somehow to donkey laden with its bundles of alfalfa is such a lazy, lovely picture.

  7. Bren, there are three here, which, I can view from different points of the city, but, Popo is the only active one. He gave us quite a scare last spring.

  8. I love the alliteration of the the opening. . . crickets click chords, as well as at the end: crows’ clawed feet gift the corners of my eyes. Wonderful! I have always thought of crow’s feet as the beautiful sign of a lot of smiles and laughter. Very nice.

  9. Ah, this is a bit of synchronicity – just left a poem about Pompeii and Vesuvius and now have stumbled on yours which is also about a volcano, this time in Mexico … very well told and nice use of the words Pamela …

    http://seingrahamsays.wordpress.com/2012/09/22/releasing-an-angel/

  10. Pamela- I have been noticing that sound all my life, Just recently it has been tickling my curiosity. As always, you write the ordinary into something I want to look at again. Yes, even the the crows feet. xo teri

  11. this is a very good one! From beginning words to the very last….

  12. some wonderful alliteration! I do so love word play….and love your poetry…

  13. Laugh lines…they are laugh lines! OK crows’ feet. 🙂
    A delightful read.

    I’m here:
    http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/09/sunday-whirl-75-nuts-and-bolts.html

  14. Thanks for the ‘punctuation’ feed back on Nuts and Bolts. I was looking for an alliteration for ‘altered’ and well to me ‘apostrophe’ could really be any curve of the body. I was thinking of the curved back of an elder, now straightened…but then there could be many other images too.

  15. Jules, apostrophe works nicely, I find the image quite intriguing.

  16. “Crickets click cords before the storm”

    Lovely words, lovely music.

    Anna :o[

  17. How wonderful! I love the grateful/graceful aging.

I appreciate all comments.

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