“Faltering Flight” The Sunday Whirl #81

Salt-driven tears cry tumultuous waves,
struggling unswayed in remembrance upbeat.
Wrath unkindness shores this dim coast in
brittle-bone folly. Rotten-flesh carcasses wash ashore.

Charm-wisps brush cheeks in this crumpled sereneness,
short-breathed and trembled in favorite stone,
enabled in light from an underscored symphony,
lost in its shallow, yet rapturous thorns;
I scramble upright to cast fingers awakened,
point out this maddening in-solitude,
blind-beckoned depth, with nowhere to flee,
without clue or key to repair what is wronged.

The earth swells neglect from this solicitous seat,
and nothing remains of graven allure.

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23 responses to ““Faltering Flight” The Sunday Whirl #81

  1. The rhythm of your first two lines makes me want to read them repeatedly. Strong use of meter there, Pamela. I like “crumpled sereneness” and “graven allure.” Nice juxtapositions.

  2. Absolute stunner, Pamela! “Salt-driven tears cry tumultuous waves, struggling unswayed in remembrance upbeat” is gorgeous. What a fabulous beginning to a truly fab poem. Your use of words is so original and innovative.

  3. some really nice contrasting words you put together in this…of course as well it turns my mind back to the damage by the hurricane as well…graven allure…intriguing turn of phrase that…

  4. I, too, love the beginning. Great piece, Pamela!

  5. What a strong concluding stanza to your very well-composed poem, Pamela!

  6. Can’t help but think of the mess we are making of taking care of this beautiful planet. We have all but ravished her of everything she has to give and, give so little back in return.
    Powerful write Pamela. Great imagery. Faltering flight, indeed.

  7. RYN, I fixed the name 🙂

  8. Powerful use of the wordle words, in what has the characteristics of a free-verse sonnet. I wonder if serenity would make a more rhythmic line end that sereneness?

  9. Thanks, Viv. I will write it up and see. You might have a good point there. A free-verse sonnet you say, hmmm, I wouldn’t know.

  10. A wonderful use of the wordles, and a lovely poem. Well done!

  11. Last two lines work for me… then again so does the rest of it!

  12. Very nice of you, Stan. Yours this week was quite excellent.

  13. Great use of the prompt. I love the opening.

  14. While Hurricane is often associated with weather and nature – there too is that emotional upheaval – especially around political elections. When the choice is between a rock and a hard place it is hard to be upbeat. And yet I would like to think there is hope for humanity.

    I’m here:
    http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/11/sunday-whirl-81-transformations.html

  15. Well, that’s what happens when you’re one of the last to comment – everyone before me has said what I would say … what a cop-out! But truly, the opening lines are strong and innovative and your use of words is, as always very clever – you wordle incredibly well and this poem is no exception (see what I mean?) Have to say my favourite image and phrase is “charm-wisps brush cheeks” especially when I say it aloud so that’s not been said yet, I don’t think …. it’s a superb poem Pamela and I really like it.

    http://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.ca/2012/11/fear.html#comment-form

I appreciate all comments.

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