On Thursday Afternoon The Sunday Whirl

She tells me her story in this room
as we sit by candlelight’s tiptoed
truth under the nakedness of life;
hiding behind smiles, sadness exists,
hiding behind kindness is loneliness.

Her face is finely painted, yet fragile,
beautiful and delicately held in this light, with
eyes that scurry like ornate doors,
opening to show me the root of
herself, birth’s softness swept
along in moments, nothing
imaginary or false,
yet lacking love’s affection.


16 responses to “On Thursday Afternoon The Sunday Whirl

  1. Your wordling has produced a lovely poem, though very sad.

  2. Oh Pamela – sweet and then a twist that wrenches the heart. Beautifully done 🙂

  3. Sometimes it’s what people don’t say that reveals most about them.

  4. The scurrying doors are a fantastic image..as are the others..the brevity gave an urgency..a need to tell the story..

  5. That last line certainly puts everything about “her” in perspective!

    Whirling with Gary Soto

    As a side note, I must tell you how much I enjoy coming here week by week, knowing that you live in Puebla, a city I visited for a week a little over a year ago, and to which I yearn to return!

  6. Wonderful, Pamela… I especially like the second stanza and eyes that scurry like ornate doors.

  7. Candlelight’s tiptoed truth… that is perfect! This is nicely done – tells a big story in few words.

  8. hiding behind smiles, sadness exists,
    hiding behind kindness is loneliness.

    the truth in these lines is real, and that draws me up and it sets up your closure nicely…and we can relate to her on some level as we have all been there….well done pamela…

  9. Linky is weird. Sometimes I think I’m losing it. However, Linky still brought me here, Pamela, and that’s a good thing.
    I really love the line, “opening to show me the root of herself…” Beautiful phrasing. This is great writing.

  10. This reminded me of a show I once saw where the gal told the guy – I’ll give you one year of my life and then I will move on. And she did.
    As with others, I agree with the favorite lines plucked.

    I was also a bit dark in my short verse:

  11. So many well-crafted images here. A sad poem but so glad I was able to reach it via weird Mr. Linky

  12. So many times, I think, sadness hides behind smiles. People smile to hide the sadness that is inside, and often other people don’t ask the questions that will bring about the truth. And yes, the kindness related to loneliness. So true as well. But perhaps kindness is a good response to loneliness, if you think about it.

    All in all, as I read the description of this person, she seems to be a person without warmth though. Thus I would guess she is responsible for her own sadness and loneliness, for her own lack of love’s affection!

  13. That is really beautiful.

  14. Your attention to detail here is perfect. This reads like a beautiful painting. ❤

  15. Sorry, Pamela, I was sure I’d left a comment yesterday, I certainly remember reading this. It is beautiful and you must get tired of hearing that word. This flows with vivid imagery as your work always does. Those final lines create a pinched feeling for the reader, but that’s a good thing, a twist helps make the words memorable.

  16. Lovely, deep and powerful…

I appreciate all comments.

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