“As Mutters Surround” / “In Wordless Fall The Sunday Whirl #100

“As Mutters Surround”

She creates each morning in different
daydreams, sometimes sharing coffee with
a friend, their words
and laughter climbing
the garden wall, splashing
little piles on the grass.

She calls occasionally,
I sense her faint
smile over the line, she tells
me rainy days are coming.

She presses my hand as we
walk down these streets, solemn
in virtue where places retreat;
socializing stretches
our lives’ reflections.

A train travels across
the city, its lonely sound
wraps its arm around our shoulders
as we walk this sunless day.

———————————————————————

“In Wordless Fall”

Fainted reclusion in an old Spanish cell
aligned with confusion of a different hell
as she called out occasion,
bereft and forlorn
of a transited sojourn,
unrested, alone.

As we walked unexpected,
years shattered like stone
on forgotten streets
in laughter alone
creating mornings indifferent,
unmasked and unveiled
in a fainted surrender,
stretched partly to hell,
rode in vanquished illusion,
marched scorn for a tell
in mastered confusion
embraced by death’s knell.

In a fainted surrender,
parched thirst in this hell,
disdained by some master
presumed words to fell,
like some leaf from an arborless
plant delivered foretold
in suffered seclusion
a death uncomposed,
or a poetless harbor
without words in repose
she swung in the darkness
unplaced and unknown.

And I still remember
this miserable scene,
unloved and so tattered,
abyssed in her scream.
I will never forget her,
and the way that she fell
so stretched out before us,
sentimental in hell.

Splashed piles of grass
dream the valley below.

Process notes: Happy 100th Whirl wordlers!

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29 responses to ““As Mutters Surround” / “In Wordless Fall The Sunday Whirl #100

  1. Oh Pamela! Rise to the occasion you did! Your first piece filled me with delight at your phrases. I especially loved how your words were climbing garden walls and “splashing little piles on the grass.” Then the second piece gripped me and took me in an entirely different direction. Wow! I am going to go read it again now. You are a damn fine poet, my friend!

  2. nice…really enjoyed that first piece pamela…in particular the last two stanzas…there is a cool and easy rhythm to them…and i love trains so your inclusion of it was icing on the cake…

    She presses my hand as we
    walk down these streets, solemn
    in virtue where places retreat;
    socializing stretches
    our lives’ reflections….def a fav part….

  3. OH PAMELA – I am delighted that I DID NOT read yours before writing mine… A wonderful tribute to our shared joy and two stunning poems! BRAVO 🙂

  4. What unbearable sadness is revealed in both poems. The first with unspoken understanding and the other of unspeakable pain.

  5. Pamela, you’ve taken my breath away with these two poems – so different, yet equally beautiful. I love rhythmic poetry, and that is what you have given us. Congratulations.

  6. Splashing and falling..crashing down in remembrance..the two pieces work beautifully together..

  7. I loved the first piece, especially “their words and laughter climbing the garden wall, splashing little piles on the grass.” What a gorgeous image. Both poems carry a rhythm that pulls the reader along with so much ease; both joys to read.

  8. Hi, Pamela… what a beautiful offering here this week. I really like the first one and the second stanza of the second one. Amazing work. Hope you have a nice week!

    http://lkkolp.wordpress.com/2013/03/16/the-sickening/

  9. Real poetry from a wordle! Both poems are terrific! I agree with all that is said above & more!!

  10. Pamela, I often dream of sitting with you, and others, drinking in the sights and sounds that fuel your words, knowing our laughter would leave bright splashes on the grass. You doubled the pleasure today, thank you my friend,

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2013/03/17/instruments-of-survival-ii/

  11. Two very different mornings. Each it’s own. Beautiful indeed!

  12. I really like the flow of the first! Well done on both pieces.

  13. I like how different the two are. She creates each morning in different daydreams….really nice. The second needs reading again. So many lines to take in. Well done.

  14. Both are stunning. The last stanzas in both poems – like deep and slow exhalations. Well done!

  15. Two very different dreams. On the same train…Some sleep through the tunnel, others close their eyes in fear and yet others wait with patience to see the light at the end growing in spender.

    Nice to Wordle with you too!
    Thanks for your visit and kind words.

  16. I always marvel how you fuse feeling & setting in your pieces, Pamela.

  17. A double-shot of excellence, Pamela. Impressive. I love your work.

  18. Pamela, the imagery and use of words in the first, brill. But the second piece, moody and hinting at a bad outcome, with sophisticated language and a sense of form… WOW. Two winners, babe, Paz, Amelita, y aqui es mia: http://sharplittlepencil.com/2013/03/18/life-cycling/

  19. Don’t know how I missed you yesterday Pamela, but it looks like I saved the best till last… 100th Wordle… 100% quality…!

  20. Spectacular work, Pamela! I am in awe.

  21. Whoa, whoa those were “beep ” perfect!!!!! Better than my crazy offering for this week.

  22. She creates each morning in different
    daydreams, sometimes sharing coffee with
    a friend, their words
    and laughter climbing
    the garden wall, splashing
    little piles on the grass.

    —————————————————-

    You have a very visual style of writing that I most respect and enjoy every breath of reading your work. Brilliant! 🙂

    I miss reading you…I’m back! 🙂

    http://charliezero1.wordpress.com/2013/03/18/blow-jobs-and-feces/

  23. Oh my, what lovely comments. Thank you all so much.

  24. J Cosmo Newbery

    Nicely done. Both of them. I especially liked:
    “A train travels across
    the city, its lonely sound
    wraps its arm around our shoulders
    as we walk this sunless day.”
    Great word painting.

  25. Wonderful! Your phrasing and word placement is incredibly fine.

  26. The very heart of your writing while sounding agreeable in the beginning, did not work perfectly with me personally after some time. Someplace within the sentences you actually managed to make me a believer but just for a short while. I still have a problem with your jumps in assumptions and you might do nicely to fill in those breaks. In the event that you actually can accomplish that, I could undoubtedly end up being amazed.

I appreciate all comments.

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