Week One, Day Two with Mz Quickly Napowrimo day #2

I measure time by how a body sways
Her words are crust to blood here in the lee
We watch as breezes lightly flow the dress
Of one not swift enough to run away
From casting moments gathered in this loom
For in this blighted grove in hanged dismay
The captured slowly swing in grim decay

They also serve who only stand and wait
Resplendent in their garbled filthy tongues
They hide as if perchance to get away
From those who stand and wait for them to come
And watch them twist their garbled filthy tongues
But never shall this hope of sweet escape
Forgive them of their fate to death succumb

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Some happy vivid memory in an unencumbered dream?
Or shall I see you as you truly are?
– a sickening repetition of some moral disarray
Some dreams to touch are better left alone
Or laid to rest as some aborted thing that never breathed
With this, my love, I bid you fond farewell
Disappeared by death, where even there, you lie deceived

Process notes:
Poem one’s first line is from
“I Knew a Woman” Theodore Roethke

Poem two’s first line is from
“When I Consider How My Light Is Spent” John Milton

Poem three’s first line if from
“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”
(Sonnet 18) William Shakespeare

Miz Quickly's April 2nd, '13

Miz Quickly’s April 2nd, ’13

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35 responses to “Week One, Day Two with Mz Quickly Napowrimo day #2

  1. The repetition of garbled filthy tongues struck me as so appropriate. These are strong writes, Pamela. All three of them! The last one was strong, and dark. It resonates with vengeance.

  2. Unfair! Unfair! A metre person lurks amongst us. I shall have to sit down some day and start thinking in iambic before I write. It shouldn’t be difficult because it’s English’s natural metre, but I have found it difficult. You did splendidly.

    margo

  3. there’s a great flow to this and cool idea on developing a new poem from a given first line..nicely done pamela

  4. dang…love what you did with the comparing to a lovely day…all the grit to it…dang….some aborting thing that never breathed…ugh, rather took my breathe away…

  5. Wow. Wow. Gosh. Wow. You really nailed these!

  6. 2 down, 28 to go 🙂
    Nice prompt that, although it must be hard to forget the original as you are writing.

  7. You have made this look easy, Pamela! Powerful writing! So glad you are doing NaPo again. I always look forward to your work.

  8. “a sickening repetition of some moral disarray” happily caught off guard… landed on my ass.

  9. I love the concept

  10. Really nice offering here, Pamela. I especially like the second one.

  11. A lovely share, Pamela. 🙂

  12. I loved what you did with each stanza….You made great use of each first line!

  13. Thanks Mary. I am still making the rounds at dVerse. I am not sure how I missed your poem. I am going to look.

  14. I struggled with one and you did three. Whew! Who knew and each of them has a shadow element as well. Really wonderful writing Pamela,

    Elizabeth

  15. Hey Pamela 🙂
    i really like the idea and where you have taken it . . .
    I measure time by how a body sways; this a such a wonderful line isnt it?
    and this rocks too Resplendent in their garbled filthy tongues . . .
    and today your title is off the hook! 🙂

    • It wasn’t any easy prompt, but I managed it. Don’t you just hate those type of tongues? 😉 Thanks my friend. Oh,btw, that isn’t a title, it is simply the name of the prompt. I couldn’t think of a title this time.

  16. Hard to choose a favorite here so i like all three brilliant

  17. oh my, you do use words beautifully

  18. I am liking the writing process, inspiration from great writers ~

    All three are lovely to me ~ Good luck on your writing for 30 days ~

  19. Grace, I have a feeling luck is something I may need this year. Thanks.

I appreciate all comments.

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