“The Park” Napowrimo #11 I’ve got a Secret

Silver roses hang loosely from her lobes
and her guitar chords don’t finish;
a sandalled young man leans by the fountain
as the air strains, the guitar plucks
his stare.

They wear messy jeans and t-shirts, but I
can’t help wondering where these young
lovers go with their secrets
when the rain begins.

I take a bite of my apple
as the morning turns uncertain.

Day 11 I've got a Secret

Day 11 I’ve got a Secret

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16 responses to ““The Park” Napowrimo #11 I’ve got a Secret

  1. where they go with their secrets when the rain begins…nice…
    reminds me of a couple i saw in richmond down by the water, she with a hoola hoop and he with a guitar…cool…

  2. This is quite delicious, Pamela! I love the details you have chosen to write about: “silver roses” is a beautiful visual and “the guitar plucks his stare” is really spectacular. “I take a bite of my apple” makes me think of Adam & Eve in the garden.

  3. Oh my, thanks, Marianne. I was worried nothing would come to me until I saw this couple.

  4. You plucked a wonderful verse, vibrating with truth…
    and mine was all fiction. You made me go and look for my prompt list just to be sure…only smidgens of truths entwined in the tapestry.

  5. Jules, I will really never know what they were thinking, will I? I never follow prompts that well, lol. Thanks for commenting.

  6. Great mood & vibes Pamela! You’re doing extremely well for poem a day. So marvellous.

  7. That’s a good thing, Irene, because I am feeling fried at this time. Thanks.

  8. Makes me envy your walk, right down to the apple of uncertainty.

  9. This feels comfortable. That might sound strange, but it feels like something I would do, including the thoughts that might slide through my head as I bit into that apple.

    Elizabeth

  10. Nice response to the prompt, Pamela. The end. with the coming of the rain and your wondering, is nice. We had conferences at school tonight, and I am so exhausted…just couldn’t write to prompt. It was a great prompt…I’ll visit it again. I really did enjoy what you did here!

  11. I like the effect of present tense. Makes it happen in front of us as we read, instead of looking back. Good setup, drawing us in with the sound and then shifting to the young man’s stare and wondering where they go when it rains, to the intimation of rain coming. Like maybe you’ll follow 🙂

  12. Thanks Margo. I don’t think they would be very pleased if I had followed them, just saying 😉 All day yesterday it looked like it was going to rain, but it never did.

I appreciate all comments.

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