“Betrothing Arrival” Napowrimo day #16 Line

My fear of dreams
lives within a child’s eye
where the soul never returns.

I arrive with
unopened eyelids,
returning to dreams
misplaced and permanent,
forever lost in an undulating universe.

If I find solace in isolated breathing
someone will take my soul
and sell my body to the clouds.

Where night fills the world,
there is no end
to fearful dreams.

Miz Quickly's day 16 Line

Miz Quickly’s day 16 Line

Advertisements

32 responses to ““Betrothing Arrival” Napowrimo day #16 Line

  1. I can’t click like, well written though it is, it aroused too much apprehension in me. I hope you are happier than this poem sounds!

  2. This is a fearful dream ~ I specially like “unopened eyelids” ~

    Have a good day Pamela ~

    Grace

  3. The world certainly feels darker today after the events in Boston yesterday, but in such a world we really need to cling on to our dreams, not fear them. Of course, for some people their dreams bring recollections that they’d ratehr not face; that is a different matter.

  4. Compelling piece. This stanza is gripping:
    “If I find solace in isolated breathing
    someone will take my soul
    and sell my body to the clouds.”

  5. Well, wow. Clear structure, wonderful imagery, strong concept and, just, wow. I like this very much.

  6. This is so powerful – especially at the end.

  7. a poem to make me freat the sleep…. very well done… but scary.

  8. My dreams would freak most people out, and I rarely write about them, Pamelita. I understand this piece so well… you portray the fear of that unwaking state as though it might grab one by the heel and not let go. Truly disturbing – and great. GREAT. Amy

  9. oh heck..this is a bit frightening…the selling my body to the clouds…heck…a strong image

  10. I dream a lot and this really captures to feeling of a dream that you really want to wake up from…like the brevity of the moments.

  11. Have you tried Valerian root?

  12. I usually have good dreams, but as a child I remember a few nights that didn’t want to end…

  13. A change of mood here Pamela, but a deeper exploration of self too I think? I especially like “solace in isolated breathing” which speaks of the brave meditative effort of a hungry soul that will eventually bring in its wake both light and dark. I am touched by the courage of this piece Pamela.

  14. This one I know well and it still scares. Love the language, the structure, and the dreamlike fluidity, and all too real,

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2013/04/16/brief-line-lesson/

  15. Dreams can be good or bad..it’s about interpretation..you presented fear well.

  16. Dreams are strange. Sometimes I can’t imagine why I dream of being on committees that I’ve long since abandoned. Those were scary times. Everyone talking at once with little listening. Better dreams for you this evening…maybe pink sky rabbits? 🙂

  17. “someone will take my soul
    and sell my body to the clouds.” love that… in an oh so creepy sorta way.

  18. Terrific imagery Pamela… must admit lately I’ve had some fearful dreams… I hate nightmares that linger when you wake or they feel so real you wonder did that really happen… I do hope you have more happier dreams than fearful ones. 🙂

  19. Very deep and dark immagery in this.

  20. First stanza set the mode for me. Got to go to bed soon, so to stop worrying about the dark dreams…and dream the real ones, which are happy, joyful…and without fear!

    And the soul being separated from the worthless body–loved that!

  21. Pamela, this is splendid.The thing about those dreams is that someday, there will be that selling the body to the clouds. I love that line. It’s a wonderful poem.

  22. I SO agree with Victoria about ‘sell the body to the clouds’
    a total encapsulation of the sense of feeling
    that underpins this tight write

    all the best Pamela 🙂

  23. You immediately hook the reader in that first stanza….Nice, and compact write with great impact.

  24. I imagine that fearing dreams would lead to terrible insomnia…a disturbing thought. I especially liked “solace in isolated breathing..”

  25. Beautiful and haunting. Strong work, Pamela.

  26. Gorgeous! I especially like the second stanza. I never thought of it as arriving at dreams.

  27. Wooo, lots of comments. Deservedly so. And another poem embracing dream. Very nice images, though not necessarily comfortable (which is just fine with me). Thank you for the visit. 🙂

  28. I adored the 4th Stanza – thank you.

  29. “sell my body to the clouds” Lord, girl! That is fine.

  30. This is quite breath-taking, pamela–that step back into just absorbing that good poetry has us do. The first three lines make for a very strong opening, and the questions implied keep things revving throughout. Really, one of my faves of yours.

  31. Thanks to all for the very nice comments. I am starting to feel April’s burn.

I appreciate all comments.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s