“Marlene” We Write Poems; Prompt 154 who is your protagonist?

The curtains were dingy, the floor was slight cracked, visage had faltered unseen and unchecked. Remembrance suffered in daintiness gone, she smiled in the mirror, and moved then along. Sojourn expected she waivered severe, just a thread of the beauty sublime left within.

Her name was Marlene and she lived in a dream that had died in cried room in forsaken hovel to stand alone grim like some forgotten novel.

Her fingers still felt they could wander in beauty, yet beauty abandoned long fled, like a tiresome butterfly caged in a harem, or bleeding false money despair. Yet she took a deep breath to remember some past which she couldn’t accept like a necklace once worn by the one she once suffered forsaken. And she tugged at her stockings to straighten repose. She buttoned her dress and walked out on the street.

The sidewalks were dusky, the streets were obscure, a bar on the corner familiar to her with welcoming handclaps oblique and demure, a smoke-drunken song unnoticed by many reminded her somehow of Kurt Weill’s Threepenny.

She walked in, clicking torn and worn heels, at the bar she sat down and ordered a gin. Straight up. But a cheap cup. And watched the patrons fade like murky shadows in the greasy glass …

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18 responses to ““Marlene” We Write Poems; Prompt 154 who is your protagonist?

  1. I have only read one or two of your prose pieces, but I really like them, Pamela. Keep salting them in!

  2. “Oh show me the way to the next whiskey bar…” I can’t help but think of that song towards the end of the poem. You use some very good concrete imagery and details to paint a portrait of this woman, her surroundings, and her loneliness. I hope she finds something more fulfilling than that cheap cup of gin.

    -Nicole

  3. Pamela! I swear I didn’t read this till I posted the second prompt. You preempted! Welcome on board. You just made it!

  4. your prose def relays you are a poet as you still seek rhythm and rhyme in your words…nice work on the details…i wonder if you did not make it present tense as opposed to past if it would not be a bit more lively…just a suggestion…

  5. I agree with Brian – definitely poetic prose. I look forward to reading more of this Marlene – she seems an interesting character.

  6. ‘bleeding false money despair’–that is just striking, pamela, as is this very vivid portrait.

  7. This is fantastic you have done an amazing job setting the scene and your character is very compelling =)

  8. So glad to see you here. I’m trying to catch up after being sick for a few days. I like the character you have created, you’ve made her vivid and interesting with your poetic eye and ear. So much in the details,

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2013/05/09/old-frank-at-the-feed-store-remembers/

I appreciate all comments.

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