“Departure Dance” dVerse Open Link #96

Recalling sun’s warmth
she dances in ash-fallen plume
in streets covered by ancient ruin,
she’s neither evolution nor rebirth,
but starkness catching its breath.

Reciting rain’s echo on roofs,
she dances umbrella-less in muddy
feet, swirling and twirling,
she’s a departure, a lost sanity,
where poison sings chorus inside.

Every night before sleep
she tries to evoke childhood
prayers … and cries for night’s end.

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21 responses to ““Departure Dance” dVerse Open Link #96

  1. Beautiful with a sense of mysticism.

  2. she’s a departure, a lost sanity,
    where poison sings chorus inside.

    I read a very sad story in these lines… (and many others)

  3. she’s neither evolution nor rebirth,
    but starkness catching its breath.

    dang that is good..and reciting rains echo…

    seriously a tight little verse…i rather like her…smiles..

  4. This piece just held me–and I read it three times–I suspect that this is a piece that I could just go on reading again and again–so satisfying!

  5. God i love your poetry.. i feel the humanity of bliss and the salt of pain.. thank you. oh, thank you

  6. Yummy poem. I’ve spent a lot of time in Mexico–I would live there now if I knew I would have a place to sleep and never run out of beer.

  7. Oh, that last stanza…just breaks a heart.

  8. These images really struck me ‘ starkness catching its breath’ and ‘she’s a departure, a lost sanity’ – they seem very deep, lots of backstory there.

  9. Your words swallowed me up with sadness. Captivating story.

  10. This has a sense of sadness that settle within the lines..cries for night’s end..prays for morning light..peace

  11. Nice one. We all cherish our childhood days.

  12. very nice Pamela. I was going to say how much I like the first stanza, then read the next and the next. Good all the way through

  13. This has a bit of how people see me, as I have no boundaries and love to dance in the rain. I do NOT take offense at the “poison” remark, because it’s a good metaphor for mental illness… and the prayers at night, always, always, with some crying. This hit the mark, Pamelita! Amer

  14. oh heck..strong images…i can feel her in her umbrella-less dance…

  15. Reciting rain’s echo on roofs,
    she dances umbrella-less in muddy
    feet, swirling and twirling,
    she’s a departure, a lost sanity,

    Just how the pitter patter of raindrops can mesmerize or drive one bonkers. Makes lots of sense after knowing of some cases. Great write Pamelita!

    Hank

  16. The last verse is specially sad and poignant ~ Good one Pamela ~

  17. Richly touching–so little hope, even in childhood prayers. Nicely done!

  18. Dear Pamela, There it is: the light and the dark so beautifully gathered and expressed in your yearning poetic soul: “Recalling sun’s warmth she dances… starkness catching its breath… where poison sings chorus inside… and cries for night’s end.” Don’t know what you think, but recently it feels like we are exploring similar terrain and it feels real good to have a companion along the way – as it can get a bit scary sometimes… All the Best to You – with love Scott http://www.scotthastie.com

  19. but starkness catching its breath . . . really pulled in my eye for the focus
    and the tighter my view, the more I could see ready for take off 🙂

  20. Starkness catching its breath… Beautiful line, beautiful poem.

  21. Thank you all for the nice comments. Ayala I will be over to see you.

I appreciate all comments.

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