“This Bereft Signature” dVerse Open Link #108

Rain slicks sidewalks
where moods mingle,
emotion’s exaltations
slow respire,
Heaven waits for
passion’s pose,
passing a ship of stars.

Dirges trill to sarabande as math
dies nonsense at my feet;
a serenade should lie so sweet
where curtains secret falsities.

I put rose petals in a basket
and toss them on the floor
in soul’s garden shimmering.

Inherent madness cries bereaved
in dismal circumstance thus fled by
overgrown and moulded leaf
in shuttered whimsical charade.

Severe discorporate;
this bereft signature
succumbs her funeral pyre.

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16 responses to ““This Bereft Signature” dVerse Open Link #108

  1. This is stretching work, Pamela and I can feel you really reaching out for poetic gold here and admire you so much for that… Some lines here work magically well, for example:
    ‘Heaven waits for
    passion’s pose,
    passing a ship of stars.’
    AND
    ‘I put rose petals in a basket
    and toss them on the floor
    in soul’s garden shimmering.’
    AND
    ‘this bereft signature
    succumbs her funeral pyre.’

    I find myself already looking forward to the next time you decide to swim so strongly out into the creative ether…
    All the Best to you

    Regards
    Scott

  2. I loved the language of the poem very much, especially in this part :”I put rose petals in a basket
    and toss them on the floor
    in soul’s garden shimmering.” – which shined so much to me. This is exquizite work!

  3. nice…i really like the rose petals in the basket stanza and the following stanza with inherit madness/moulded leaf and charade…very nice piece pamela….

  4. Enjoyed the language in this poem, Pamela. Lots of unique images combined in a beautiful way.

  5. Hey Pamela 🙂

    something about the title really punched my poetic guts (in a good way)

    this set really stands out for me:

    Dirges trill to sarabande as math
    dies nonsense at my feet;

    and after a couple of reads
    it really feels to me like you are pushing yourself
    and the poetry, searching

    I like the off-stage sense of seeking with a hunger for discovery.
    imho it expands the actual poetry that exists, on the page –

    the sweat.

  6. Great writing, and that second stanza especially intrigued and enchanted me.

  7. Heaven waits for
    passion’s pose,
    passing a ship of stars

    It can never be truer than that. Passion has a way of lengthening the stay. And it can sometimes override goodness along the way. Truly said Pamelita!

    Hank

  8. This is really a gorgeous piece of writing…you hooked me from beginning to end! ~jackie~

  9. This is my favorite part Pamela:

    Dirges trill to sarabande as math
    dies nonsense at my feet;
    a serenade should lie so sweet
    where curtains secret falsities.
    Great to see you at Dverse ~

  10. I especially like the “ship of stars” and “soul’s garden shimmering”.

  11. The idea of a dirge that trills is perversely perfect, and of course, math and sarabandes seem meant to be in different worlds…I agree with Arron that there is a sense of push to this…and that’s always a good thing.
    AFA things in general–yeesh!–it’s hard to make time to blog right now–hectic, and I find myself tired out after a few minutes online…but thanks for coming by and reminding me how much I enjoy my visits here, full of your word mariposas.

  12. Dirges trill to sarabande as math
    dies nonsense at my feet…love that. Lovely piece!

  13. Dirges trill <- wonderful
    As is "a serenade should lie so sweet
    where curtains secret falsities."

    This speaks to me of darkness and love, perhaps deception. Fantastic work

  14. The dirges, the rose petals, and finally the funeral pyre… I could almost smell the night of rain, hear the “serenade.” This is a work of art, Pamelita, surely one of your best. Paz, Amelita

  15. As I read this through the first time it remained a bit obscure for me, though I felt and undercurrent of darkness that came through and stood out on the second read. Wonderful imagery and skillful alliteration.

  16. Thanks all for the nice comments. When I started this I didn’t know where it would end up, but then I realized I was speaking of a funeral.

I appreciate all comments.

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