“Falling to Pieces” The Sunday Whirl #123

The cat exorcises power
while the thief enters intimacy,
touching her beauty outside the kingdom.
It’s premonition and presence,
the touch’s greeting,
two bodies copulating,
falling to pieces;
chilling her,
uttering fierce love,
outlasting time’s attrition,
leaving her eyes marked
and skin kept in paradise.

She obeys the apostle’s extortion
while prayers bleed bitter.
The sun sweats gold,
and the moon cries silver.

Advertisements

20 responses to ““Falling to Pieces” The Sunday Whirl #123

  1. Sometimes you just have to settle for ‘fierce love’…

  2. falling to pieces;
    chilling her,
    uttering fierce love,
    outlasting time’s attrition

    Markedly a sensuous train of events taking shape! Nicely Pamelita!

    Hank

  3. This is lovely poem weaved with so much elegance….deserves a wow!!!
    Mine is here:
    http://rameshsood.blogspot.in/2013/08/smile-glows-through-his-whole-being.html

    RS:)

  4. Sensuous and mysteriously holy. I especially enjoyed the last verse!

  5. What some great metaphors you have used here.

  6. Wowee! Most especially the build up to that last verse –

    while prayers bleed bitter.
    The sun sweats gold,
    and the moon cries silver.

    Sparkling! Thank you for this one 🙂

  7. cool little dance in that last bit, there is a cool cadence which drew attention for me…the touching, because you say it twice….the copulating and falling to pieces…your back and forth in good and bad leave me wondering a bit pamela…smiles….enjoy your rest this weekend…

  8. I liked your uttering fierce love..nice poem

  9. Loved what you did with the words. Especially the last two lines!

  10. just Wow!!! have a good SUnday

    much love…

  11. This really made me forget I was reading wordles! Nicely “worded”.

  12. Really nice! And I too especially like the last two lines!

  13. That last stanza pulled it together for me. Quite powerful work, Pamela. I have to go back and look at the prompt–your words fit in so well.

  14. Another lush piece Pamela.

  15. Pamelita, this was sensual but also sad in the way that brutal love is sad. The word “copulating” got to me, as though “making love” wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, leaving her with that chill. An interesting take on the prompt, and powerful as hell. Gracias, Amelita

  16. Exquisite, particularly “… skin kept in paradise”. Beautiful written.

  17. Wow, this does dance in the mind’s eye extremely well, Pamela! Your style and vision is impressive. I like reading your works! Thank you!

  18. The last two lines come from Inca legend, they believed the sun sweat gold and silver was the moon’s tears, and I thought that was so beautiful. Thanks for the nice comments all.

  19. Nice. Really enjoyed the closing stanza. Memorable.

  20. I really like this Pam

I appreciate all comments.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s