“More Like Cake” The Sunday Whirl #143

The faster black
waits, calling silent,
I prepare myself

mother and father
play stillness
in turn

a window storm lights
rose-shadows
as my memory straightens
the waiting door

mother’s days are more like cake,
they impact recital’s blood

my wrist locks like a shadow
in this remote haunt

she curtains
father’s dancer
and grows lifeless.

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17 responses to ““More Like Cake” The Sunday Whirl #143

  1. hummmm….silent, stillness, storm light, rose-shadows, memory, and ending with lifeless….makes me sad.

  2. Oh my, a spectacular write, Pamela!
    This is my favorite stanza:
    “a window storm lights
    rose-shadows
    as my memory straightens
    the waiting door.”

  3. You are absolutely right: your memory will straighten and even strengthen that door,

    Elizabeth
    http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2014/01/12/in-the-aftermath/

  4. This is full of bright, stabbing images, from ‘faster black,’ to the locking wrist, the curtained dancer. A play of symbols and your use of sound make this a powerful, haunting piece, poised like a ballerina’s toe-stand on the edge of darkness. Excellent writing, pamela.

  5. Wow! I love the words and phrases.

  6. fear and loss here, but with a waiting for the unexpected. Nicely done.

  7. Thank you all. I probably won’t get around to read this evening, but I will make time to read tomorrow, if the gods are willing.

  8. This is very powerful.

  9. my memory straightens
    the waiting door

    mother’s days are more like cake,
    they impact recital’s blood

    that whole section had really nice bite to me…crisp thoughts/conveying feeling…

  10. Those locked wrists shout out discomfort in this place..but that cake is an intriguing image..I wonder if it might look good..be full of promise..but leave you feeling empty? Many cakes are like that..maybe?

  11. What an enigmatic, enchanting piece…”my wrist locks like a shadow/ in this remote haunt” just one of my favourite bits…

    http://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.ca/2014/01/like-impact.html

  12. Ah Pamela, I’ve missed your work. Glad I picked today to revisit here. The reasons are obvious. I love your insight.

  13. The third stanza is the strongest, Pamela.

  14. magicalmysticalteacher

    I wonder if curtaining father’s dancer is really the end of the mother’s life, or just the beginning of a something unforeseen, something new and even more disturbing.

    A Singular Whirl

  15. Hey Pamela, Hope things are OK for you… My first visit this year – your topics grow darker – but no less powerful for that… Your touch and skill remain very evident, especially in this lean and lacerating piece… Look forward to hearing from you – with best wishes Scott http://www.scotthastie.com

  16. Love the rose shadows..the waiting door and the last stanza touches me.

I appreciate all comments.

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