“The Crumbled Crocus” The Sunday Whirl #186

Fervor in a radiant night crowned
by the sweet pink jasmine queen
where the bustle of thorns thread crossroads,
dogs jump the ceded latched bar,
and the first men burst into the room
believing they’re dreaming.

They see an angel crowned with roses
supported in her arms is an old dying man,
her white dress is soaked red and shining,
but she does not reach piety for a second look
because drunken violence is never enervated.

The woman says to the men;
“Put serene hands on clean air without tears
and at once return to my tumbled-down house
to look for something to cover him.”

They take a spool of twine
and leave for the road to pick up the pieces.


12 responses to ““The Crumbled Crocus” The Sunday Whirl #186

  1. They take a spool of twine
    and leave for the road to pick up the pieces.

    To think they can just go separate ways given such a situation.. Great word craft Pamelita!


  2. This seems so sad, but a lovely write…

  3. Thread of words weaving ever on….

  4. That last line caught me completely by surprise. Nicely written.

  5. Pamela, I love your title! Your poem is skillfully crafted. Like Annell, I think it’s sad .. I thought the words this week really lent themselves to sadness. xox

  6. What a wonderful piece…although there is darkness I feel she is a hardy crocus who will wait out her time to bloom and flourish again…peaceful Sunday to you Pamela

  7. How could a poem with the “s” word not be sad? But you left us with a mystery – who is the beautiful woman? Well crafted use of the words.

  8. Creepy poem, with such sadness. But the female in the poem , reminds me of a mexican ghost story that I read once. Where a woman murdered her kids and haunts the area where it happens, looking for her kids.

  9. luv the jasmine night queen and her fierce

  10. Interesting abstract.The tone is serious, worrisome, with painted strokes of death hanging in the air, along with sex, confusion, violence, a touch of a woman’s authority, and then the lack thereof. Randy

  11. Sad, yes, but is lifted by your usual fluent imagery,


I appreciate all comments.

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