Before floating villages
you were first a shadow,
untying in slow destruction,
an angel with hand to face,
knots on headwinds,
the ultimate window;
your eyes on fire.
Last night in the light,
still, it was not you.
I was alone with a premonition —
a signal presence in greetings,
a hiker in your circle.
Dimension arcs alone
with your impulse,
words wave
boats in darkness.
The words don't fit. They rarely do.
By Tom Merriman
Sustainable Living & Wildlife Conservation
The Musings of a Writer / Freelance Editor in Training
mapping the nest
Taking on Fascism and Racism from the Ground Up.
A.I. Art and Poetry
Music, festivals, concerts, and everything in between.
poetry by latino poet Nathan Bonilla
Ink-Stained-Soul
Andrew's view of the world in poetry, prose, and pictures
The Official Home of Rolli - Author, Cartoonist and Songwriter
where birds turn into words
because anything is possible with Charisma
Brian Marggraf, Author of Dream Brother: A Novel, Independent publishing advocate, New York City dweller
A literary compass for finding your voice..."You turn toward me, your lips move, wanting to speak."--Stephen Dobyns, "Wolves In The Street"
Happenings and Thoughts
Writing for Wholeness
Pictures and Poetry: A Journal of Nature and Self-Discovery
A great forum of promotion of friendship and co-operation between citizens and Police Officers. Come join us.
Oloriel's Truth
poet, river girl, professional muse
A goth/punk, dark humor blog novel from Hell
nothing but words ...
wordsandthoughtspjs 
those first three lines are really awesome…great hook, esp untying in slow destruction, it has the feel of myth, like the pull back to the present as well…nicely done pamela…hope your week starts off great and you are starting to get your teacher legs under you…smiles.
Thanks, Brian. I am on countdown for bedtime–30 minutes from now. I love these children, but they are full of much more energy than I have.
Must agree with Brian in “you were first a shadow” is a most powerful line… I never got a real feel for the theme of the overall poem itself, but the poem is certainly word art and flows very artfully… A very pleasant read indeed!
John, there is a theme, it is called my life. Thanks for the nice comment.
Love the surrealism and the imagery, Pamela. I feel as if I am in dim light and your poem is floating above me…a collection of shadows and light and words.
So reminiscint of a book I’m reading at this moment, House of Spirits…a wonderful sense of mystical in this piece. ~peace, Jason
Jason, I read that book. I suppose there is a parallel.
Hi Pamela, managed to get back here again at the start of this month… Nearly always when reading your work, I’m powerfully reminded how, when I’m away, I miss the ambition in your work…
Some great stuff here (powerful & telling juxtapositions… )again:
“the ultimate window;
your eyes on fire.” AND:
“a signal presence in greetings,
a hiker in your circle.”
AND:
“words wave
boats in darkness.”
Also, as others have said, some single lines too, with great clout:
Not just:
“you were first a shadow,” BUT:
I was alone with a premonition AND:
“Dimension arcs alone..”
Please keep on keeping on, Pamela… So often when I read your work, I feel like you are right on the edge of something truly great. And you don’t find yourself saying that very often, Trust me on that… With Best Wishes Scott http://www.scotthastie.com
Wow, Scott. Thanks for the thoughtful comment. This was an opening for me in many ways. I hope all is well with you.
Ah– such a lovely close here–the words waving boats- they are rescue boats in darkness- just lovely. k.
Thanks, Karin. 🙂
As I read it I kept copying parts to tell you that was my favorite but by the time I got to the end I’d copied the whole poem so there was no need to paste it back to you. Well done, well done.>KB
Quite a compliment, KB,
“Words have boats in darkness”..love this..IT rings so TRUE…as a ship at seas…2020…
Great hook indeed, with the floating villages, the shadow, the angel with hand to face. There is a surreal feeling to it. A lovely flowing read……..
There is such intensity behind your words. Love those concluding lines
Thanks, Bjorn. I enjoyed your poem as well.
…maybe it was just me but i read this as rather mournful & longing especially with that ‘boats in darkness’… hope you’re well… smiles…
your eyes on fire.
Last night in the light,
still, it was not you.
There is a longing of wanting to see more than just some lights. The yearnings keep things moving.It’s good as it will sustain and at the same time stabilize! Nicely Pamelita!
Hank
You caught me with the first line. Hooked. Gosh, I sound like a fisherman! Wonderful poem, Pamela.
Pamela, just reread this. “Boats in darkness” – love that!
Best,
Ana
strong, strong, you tapped a vein here, Pamela. ~ M
There is a sense of eeriness about this–shadowy premonitions. And I want to know more about who “you” is.
Thanks, Victoria. I rarely use the second person for personal reasons. I should explore this further.
Specially admire that ending verse:
words wave
boats in darkness.
Good one Pamela ~
oh heck pam – that first stanza took my breath away – what gorgeous images
A sense of longing and simply beautiful images.